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maybe it's crazy when you let it begin.. it's all you ever want, all you want to start.
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[24 Sep 2005|03:12am]
 Arielle Jerdan said:Collapse )
 Carole Cummings said:Collapse )
Cassandra Nguyen said:Collapse )
 DJ Clark said:Collapse )
 Jay Ross said:Collapse )
 Kevin Coopersmith said:Collapse )
 Matt McIntosh said:Collapse )
 Michelle Workman said:Collapse )
Joshua Allison said:Collapse )
1 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

And as the summer's ending.. [05 Sep 2005|06:09pm]
This summer went by way too fast for me.
For the most part, I'd have to say that it was pretty boring, but there were times that were the most memorable; the times I doubt I will ever forget, the times I still talk about even today.
For instance, Wednesday, August 31st. Geez, that day made up for a majority of those nights spent in front of the computer or television with a Cappuccino Blast from Baskin Robbins. Ah, they're great. Anyway, what had happened that day was I met an incredible boy that I have been talking to for a few months now, he's from a few states over, or up? -Virginia, let's say. Yes, well, for someone to come and visit me, Lisa Workman, it just makes me feel completely wonderful, like a celebrity or something to that extreme. We hung out -- the mall, movies. None of those things worked out but that's alright. We ended up going back to my house with rented movies (Bubble Boy, Hostage, There's Something About Mary, and the like). We watched Hostage and let me just say that that is the worst movie to watch while you're having guests over. EEE. I think he might have fallen asleep. But yeah, all went well and I'm glad. He's a real sweetie.

Other highlights can be found in an older blog, so if you want to know more about my summer, then just go back until you see a blog entitled 'Maybe all the crazy things you said would have some meaning'.

Hm, since I'm updating, I might as well say this: Our house is sold. Yes, sold. We're moving out around November so what I was thinking is that we should have a Halloween party. I'd like to throw a costume party. I know it sounds lame, but to me, it would be fun.. If you went to Clownfest, it would be something like that. A lot of yard space, pole barn-- FOOD. I would also like bands to play... Embers Reign, perhaps. I have to go through these plans with the parents, but yeah. I think it would be a great thing.
1 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

[25 Aug 2005|12:51am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

post anonymously, so that you will be completely honest with me.....then at the end of the survey give me a good hint to who you are, so it'll just be between you and me....

would you...
y=yes n=no m=maybe
[_] watch a movie with me?
[_] take me out to dinner?
[_] let me drive you somewhere?
[_] let me sleep in your bed?
[_] Sing car karaoke with me?
[_] give me a piggyback ride?
[_] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere
[_] hold me?
[_] let me kiss you?
[_] kiss me?
[_] dance with me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] make me laugh?
[_] talk with me for hours?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] instant message me?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bake cookies with me?

D0 Y0U...
[_] think im cute?
[_] think im nice?
[_] think im intelligent?
[_] see me in your future?
[_] respect me as a person?
[_] love me?

AM i...
[_] smart?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] loveable?
[_] adorable?
[_] compassionate?
[_] great to be with?
[_] attractive?
[_] mean?
[_] odd?

[_] thought about me?
[_] wished i were there?
[_] wanted to touch me?
[_] wondered what i was thinking?
[_] wanted more from me?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?
[_] wanted to tell me something, but couldn't?

ARE Y0U...
[_] done with this survey?
[_] happy you know me?
[_] mad at me?
[_] thinking about me?
[_] going to repost this so that i will return the favor?

5 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

[24 Aug 2005|07:00am]
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last
you can have all of me.

What? Lyrics? All the time? -yes. [04 Aug 2005|03:28am]
I don't plan on doing any writing in here, so I'll leave you with lyrics:

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world

And I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

She's running out the door,
She's running out
She's run run run running out...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special...

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.
3 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

[21 Jun 2005|03:01pm]
[ mood | Still disappointed ]

secret (dirty little secret)
regret (just another regret).


I'll keep you my dirty little secret.

1 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

[08 Jun 2005|05:32pm]
1 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

[04 Jun 2005|08:45pm]
We're hollowed by circumstance that pushed us both away.
We carved a message deep within our broken hearts that failed to mend:
Make-out kids never had a chance to be best friends.
1 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

you can't lose something you never had [18 May 2005|03:21pm]
[ mood | eh ]

"You met him a few months ago, and somehow he managed to seep into your subconscious like that "take my breath away" song. Just like you have no clue who the hell sings it, you don't know why he's there. But he is, whether you like it or not. You can’t change that. You know his cell phone and his address. You can dial his mom’s office (where he works) faster than you can peck-out 911. But he doesn't know.

His screenname, that generic one with his first name followed by three to five random numbers, has its own category at the top of your buddy list. Not only do you know what a "Buddy Alert" is, you've rigged your computer to play "Crazy in Love" from "I Think I'm In Love You" every time his screen name changes from gray to black. Then his away message comes down, and you have a decision to make. To IM or not to IM? These are the ridiculous games that you play on a daily basis. But he doesn't know.

He's it. All right, so maybe not "it" it. Not necessarily Mr. Right, but closer to Mr. Right-up-there-with-Brad-Pitt-and-Johnny-Depp-on-your-list-of-people-you'd-give-anything-to-be-stranded-with-on-a-broken-down-elevator. But it's about more than that. When is it ever about more than that? Never. Not like stupid girly fights, overpriced purses, embarrassing grandparents more, but closer to brand name purses, two brand new cds, a twinkie and a movie you have no interest in seeing more. But he doesn't know.

He's gorgeous, but gorgeous is an understatement. More like you're startled every time you see him because you notice something new in a "Where's Waldo" sort of way. More like you can't stop writing third grade run-on sentences because you can't remotely begin to describe something ... someone ... so inherently amazing. But you're a writer. You can describe anything. That's what you do: pictures to words, events to words, words to even better words. But nothing seems right. More like you're afraid that if you stare at him for too long, you'll prove your parents right: that yes, your face will stick that way. But you wouldn't mind.

You wouldn't mind that the questioning, "Hello?" on the other end makes you want to smile and throw up at the same time. You wouldn't mind worrying about what to get him for his birthday and spending $300 when you only have $17.50 and a gas card to your name. You wouldn't mind that he left his cellphone at your house the night before ... because it gives you a chance to check what icon pops up when you call him. You don't mind that you've slipped up twice when you were hammered and hinted at how you feel, but he was too drunk to remember. So he doesn't know.

Sure, he's hot, but it's about more than that. You two connect. Anything you throw at him, he can throw right back. You figured out what's going on in that predictable head of his in under five minutes, but something tells you his heart would take about five years.

You remember everything he's ever said to you, and when that freaks him out you blame it on your photographic memory (which is a lie). You can't remember your cousin's aunt's name, and you can't remember that your english paper due four days ago, yet you remember the middle name of the kid who tripped him in fifth grade and gave him that cute little scar on his shoulder. Maybe it's because you actually listen when he talks. When do you actually listen? Never. But he doesn't know.

But he has a girlfriend. The girl is a model, and you are not. She has no redeeming qualities, and you have about 38, even when you're hung over. You could kick her butt, and you've never been in a fight in your life. She treats him like crap, and you would treat him like the prince he believed himself to be last Halloween.

But he loves her. She wouldn't know what she had even if he slapped her across the face and dumped her, but somehow he still loves her. And somehow he still doesn't know.

Then, out of nowhere, he dumps her. His half-smile as he talks almost makes you feel ashamed that you're the only one around who gets to witness it. It looks like he might realize that all girls don't deserve to have rocks thrown at them.

But nothing changes. He doesn't know. You get that elevator feeling in your stomach that he'll never know. You get that feeling that you'll be forced to write a cheesy column about him that makes "Sleepless in Seattle" look like "Girls Gone Wild."

You go to sleep. You wake up. He doesn't know. You're not in love. You're not obsessed. You blame it on the fact that he makes you wanna LaLa, but still, it's about more than that. It would just be nice if once in your life, things worked out the way you wanted them to."

1 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

[06 May 2005|08:33pm]
[ mood | bored ]

so, i just got over being sick about yesterday. so i went back to school. it was really dumb. i'll probably get left back. so yeah, i came home and afterschool, i did pretty much nothing. michelle told me to watch this movie- the dead poet's society. i liked it. and basically, that's about it.

i think that sooner or later, i really want to meet george watson. he's very nice, and i think i'd really like his company.

you can have all of me.

just- be- in- love. [02 May 2005|12:59am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

'jamisonparker ; here's to everything i meant to say'

i'm in love.

3 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

!!! [30 Apr 2005|11:43pm]
[ mood | calm ]

so hey, i've decided to start updating a journal again. i don't know how well this will work out, but i'll try anyway. so, this weekend hasn't been going too good. yesterday, i came home at eleven because i didn't feel good, and i slept the whole day. twenty-two hours, actually. i liked it. i got up this morning around nine, cleaned my room, talked to dj,george,kevin,&emma, and did some other things. i would have liked to do something more exciting, but i guess my mother was feeling like a jerk today.

but, since i didn't do anything, i went through some of my old things [xanga, blurty]. i think that i like myself better the way i was then. i think that i was a lot cooler then, but that was when no one liked me. BUT YEAH. i think i would like to go back to the way i was then. it'd be coool.

so anyway, that's basically all i can think about right now, i'll update tomorrow. LAYTA!#@$

1 -- and i'm not a lot, but you can have all of me.

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